Is Self-Sabotage Robbing You of Success?

self-sabotageDo you ever think about how you sometimes self-sabotage your success by the things you do?

There’s something disturbing about that.   After all, it’s tough enough to find success, we don’t need to be sabotaging ourselves too :-(

Call it human nature, bad days or just not being too smart, whatever it is I think we’re all probably guilty of self-sabotage at one time or another when it comes to our business and financial success.

While giving this some real thought, I realized a few of my own self-sabotaging habits.   I’ve not mastered them all, but I am making strides.   Maybe you can relate.

1. Not Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone

This is a tough one for most of us, isn’t it?   Who wants to step out of something that we feel safe and secure with and thrust ourselves into something that scares us to death, especially when what we’re doing is working OK.

Even though what you’re doing right now might be working for you, it’s really your potential that you need to look at.  If you’re making $50 a day chances are you could be making $100 a day or more if you can just take that bold step of faith and move out of your comfort zone.

Public speaking is my personal fear.    It’s hard for me to even get in front of a camera in my own office :-|

The thing about fear is that the more you try to overcome it, the easier it gets, really! But you do have to try.    You may never really like it, but that’s OK,  just taking that leap could be the one obstacle between you and your full potential.

2.Caring Too Much About What Others Think

That brings me to how we like to worry about what others think.  No one wants to look stupid or be disapproved of.  But the phrase “Why worry about what you can’t control?” has helped me in success.

It is tough when people voice what they think about something we do or say in a cruel or mean way, but that’s their problem, not yours, and worrying about it only hurts you, it doesn’t hurt them.

But where I think we really sabotage ourselves is when we base our actions on what we assume others are thinking.  I’m so guilty of that.

In fact my fear of public speaking is a great example.  I’ll automatically assume that the audience will think I’m foolish or stupid because I’m nervous or because of the way I look or talk or whatever crazy idea I have in my brain.

But I learned a really valuable lesson when a gentleman came up to me after a presentation I once did, he said: 

“Liz, I learned so much from this.  I want you to give this presentation to all our department managers”.

I was very nervous doing that presentation and it was obvious, I know that, but no one really cared, I was giving the audience good information and that’s what they cared about.   

Many times when you assume people are thinking the worst, it’s just the opposite.

3. Feeling Sorry For Myself

If you have a situation that is causing you to feel sorry for yourself, change the situation.  Easy for me to say, right?

It’s a challenge, I know that. But the truth is that dwelling on what could have been or putting your focus  on the hardships you’ve had to deal with is wasted energy, and it’s that energy we need to pull us up and press forward.   Self pity will  sabotage your energy and if you don’t fix it you’ll never get better.

Your success is your responsibility so hold yourself accountable for your results and don’t let unfortunate situations  steer you away from reaching for your dreams.   It’s not always easy but a worthwhile effort, nonetheless.

4. Lack of Planning

When I started my online business I never planned.  I would get up each morning and basically wing it.

Do you know how much time and energy I wasted?  I basically let all the ideas I had in my brain run wild on my computer.   I created 3 websites in 8 weeks with no real focus for any of them.   I was working really hard at getting nothing done.

The problem with the internet is that it makes it easy to just start doing.  You get an idea and you run with it.  But without a plan you’ll burn out and lose focus because there’s no direction or goal.

Everyone needs a plan, I leaned it the hard way but don’t you do that.   Take one idea and move it from start to profit.  Don’t start another thing until your first project is finished and generating income.

5. Comparing Myself To Others

When I compare myself to others I’ve found it creates jealousy,  envy and low self esteem. Talk about self sabotaging :-(

I’ll admit, there are lots of people who are smarter, happier, richer, more successful and better looking than me and there always will be.   To compare myself to them is only demeaning to who I am.

The interesting things about not comparing yourself to others is that you’ll no longer need approval from anyone, you’ll be approving of yourself.  That’s so freeing because you’ll be giving yourself the inner freedom to be and do what you dream.  You’ll be giving yourself permission to see the positive opportunities in your life that you might not have otherwise noticed.  Try it, it’s an awesome feeling  :-)

I’m not perfect at any of these things, I’m still a work in progress, but just being aware of them can bring you closer to attaining success.

4 Thoughts on “Is Self-Sabotage Robbing You of Success?

  1. bloomsburyltd on February 8, 2012 at 2:51 am said:

    Very good written story. It will be supportive to anyone who employees it, including myself. Keep up the good work – can’t wait to read more posts.

  2. Hey Edward, don’t feel bad, it happens to all of us. I say if you need to give yourself some ‘feel sorry’ moments, that’s OK from time to time, take the time you need and move on. But what we can’t do is let those moments negatively impact our success. Thanks for your feedback Edward :-)

  3. You really hit me hard with your post. I’m a Scorpio man and we are born together with negativity and pride. I can’t help but feel sorry for myself whenever I face a problem. This kind of characteristic is what killing me. I want to change for good. But the fact is, it ain’t easy. Thanks for post Liz.

  4. I agree Liz,

    Self-sabotaging is like poison. It will destroy us slowly. Although I find myself fall into one of the above traps sometimes, I know it’s not the way to go. And I’m trying hard everyday to overcome it. I like to be myself and do what I want to do (not be told by a boss) in the future. That’s why I decide to step out and build my biz online :) I know I will achieve what I want soon.

    And hope you will become a more successful person as well Liz.

    All the best!

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